Dear Northern Kentucky Gays

Let me say first that I understand first-hand the alienation, marginalization, ostracism, and daily indiginities that you are forced to experience.  I want to commend you for your ability to transform these experiences through making contact with the small gay community that you have access to as a result of Cincinnati, OH being right across the river.

I must say, however, that I am concerned you are gleaning the wrong pieces of gay-dom from your cross-river pals.

The following is a list of behaviors that will NOT actually address the pain you experience.  In the long run, they will only make things worse.  

1.     Compulsive tanning-bed use

2.     Random online poz-bashing

3.     Odd racist comments delivered in a creepy normalized way

4.     Compulsive spray tanning

5.      Wearing a big thick sweater with the weird neck thing on top of those jeans that flare at the bottom and just to drive your point home, a pointy shoe

6.     Making first contact with me online by messaging me five-times in a row “I’ll do anything”

7.     Blaming fems and queens for reinforcing gay stereotypes or calling attention to your “discrete” sexuality.  (I’m sure NO ONE knows, cupcake!)

8.     Acting outrageously disgusted by the idea of a one-time hookup when you’re trolling adam4adma and grindr simultaneously.

9.     Using gay clothing brands as your online handles

10. The term “normal guy stuff” 

 11. Misogynist comments about women 

And next time i’m in town, please don’t all be 19yo. It felt embarrassing introducing you to my mom when you came over to sex.

Sincerely

Billabia Tania and Cyd Fistula